Dear teeth: Please stop hurting. I am extremely tired of going to the dentist every week. There is no need for this due to my obsessive dental care regimen. This needs to stop or I will be forced to knock you all out of my mouth with a hammer.
Dear Seattle rain: Please please please stop raining. This is ridiculous, even by PNW standards.
Dear Mega Millions lottery: Please pick my numbers? I know it is a 1 in 176 million chance but someone has to win, right?
Dear Duggar family: Please stop making babies. No matter what defense you come up with, it is still absurd and I don't care if you aren't on government support, 19 kids is too many.
Dear July: Please hurry up and get here. I need to go to Maui. This depressing, rainy weather isn't helping.